Ballina Shire men’s group find strength in faith
by Barry de Silva
The whole is said to be greater than the sum of its parts. This is especially true in the Ballina Shire, where a group of men, called MenAlive, get together fortnightly to support one another. Murray Parr is the group’s coordinator, a mental health coach, and a member of St Francis Xavier Parish Council. The group fosters openness, vulnerability, and shared faith—something rare for men in today’s busy world.
The gatherings include predominantly retired men, but Murray says he is increasingly reaching out to fathers who may need support or a listening ear. With four adult children, he appreciates the pressures facing working dads. “Today, fathers have different commitments with their kids. It is hard enough for them to find time for their partners and their own needs.”
Murray acknowledges that life’s busyness will always be there, but he focuses on what he calls “busyness with God.” For him, it’s about helping members of MenAlive become more aware of God’s presence in their everyday lives. Murray facilitates the meetings every Wednesday fortnightly. They provide a safe environment for deep and meaningful conversations, helping men explore what’s on their minds without the fear of judgment. “I try to talk less about myself and find out more about what is going on in their lives, and I just listen and offer encouragement where I can,” he says.
In this environment of trust and respect, Murray reveals that those in the group often reflect on losses that they often carry alone. “Sometimes I may tell them a story as a metaphor which has a helpful moral to it, and that will lead some of the guys to open up and share their perspectives— whether that is loss of health, loss of purpose, emotional grief, or even struggles in their relationships.”
A key part of their gatherings is prayer, with each man holding the challenges of others in their thoughts. Murray says they often draw from Bible verses that offer comfort and spiritual guidance. “I trust that the Holy Spirit will lead us in God, and I’ve never ever been let down,” he reflects.
Murray’s background in mental health coaching also equips him with the tools to help men navigate some of their personal challenges. Whether providing strategies for healthier communication with partners or fostering open dialogue, his advice is often grounded in compassion. “If they’re having struggles with their partner, I suggest they sit down and have a conversation with them and discuss their relationship while having no attachment of blame — that’s so important.”
Murray warmly welcomes all men, regardless of whether or not they’re ready to share openly, to drop in anytime to one of the group’s meetups. “They don’t even need to say a word, they can just listen, and they’ll get a free cup of coffee out of it!”
With the Australian Institute for Family Studies reporting that one in five Australian men will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime, men’s groups like Murray’s are invaluable. If you’d like to find out more about MenAlive, contact Murray on 0414 399 658.
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